Rut

I have been in the longest and deepest rut for a while now. A rut as in I’m experiencing artist block. This took some courage to post about. It’s not my favorite place to be in. Though I don’t think anyone likes to be in a rut. It isn’t a great feeling. This has lasted for about a year. Ever since I left my last job in early 2021. My work required me to use art supplies. Every month I had a set number of supplies to use and a prompt to follow. I taught livestreams and made content for them. I just got so used to that routine. And I did that for 5 years.

I think I started to feel the pressure when I wanted to branch out and start an Etsy shop. Managing expectations of creating new ideas while trying to make ideas for work became too much of a pressure. It all snowballed.

So for my health, I quit my job. I stopped my Etsy shop. I stopped creating. Nothing felt inspiring nor motivating. And here I am. Nearly halfway into 2022 and I haven’t created anything notable. Honestly, I haven’t created anything for myself for years.

Have you ever been in a place like that?

I’ve reached out to fellow artists. Most say to just sit down and do it. I get all sorts of distracted when I do. Or setting up for creating takes so long that I end up losing motivation. I’ve tried classes. They all sort of say the same thing or have similar projects. Some say It’s fine, you can take a break. Then, I feel that terrible word surging up.

Lazy

I feel like that’s how people view me. I can’t stand that word. It just makes me seem less than anyone else that’s working their hardest out there. Like since I’m not working an 8-5 job that I’m less than hardworking. Or less than other artists since I’m not hustling every day for my Etsy shop or commissions. These are the sorts of thoughts and anxieties that plague me every day.

I don’t have an exact solution right now. Only to continue taking every day and everything once step at a time. To take it easy on myself. I will eventually find myself back to creating and to being in love with creating again. It just takes time.

Have a fantastic day
-Christy

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